As we welcome and embrace this New Year, many of us have begun to develop a long list of resolutions.  No matter what’s on your list, I strongly recommend adding “coping with criticism” as a top priority.  Gary Vaynerchuk, social media marketing pioneer, recently made the following statement about criticism… “Of course it is devastating to get criticized…. (however) people will talk about you whether you’re in the conversation or not.”

The bottom line when it comes to criticism is how you accept it, deal with it, and react to it once it has been shared with you.  Remember that people are always going to talk and unfortunately, it won’t always be positive!

I don’t know about you, but when I receive negative criticism either directly or indirectly, via a third party, my blood starts boiling.  However, I quickly realize that I need to react calmly and be open to the information.  After all, I advocate this in my classes, trainings, and coaching sessions – so I need to practice what I preach, right?  Well, easier said than done!

Below are three simple steps I follow when I’m receiving that negative input, which I may have never requested.  I’m hoping you will find them beneficial, as well.

1^st Step: Really take the time to listen.  This means stop trying to counter the comments being shared with you.  Just listen and, if need be, take notes so you know how to accurately and professionally respond.

2^nd Step: Breathe before responding.  I recommend taking three deep breaths prior to offering your retort.  The breaths will move blood through your body and help you relax your tense muscles.  How do you know if this is happening?  Try taking a quick inventory of your body – what is your body doing?  Are your hands clenched in tight fists?  Is your face exhibiting a grimace or weird expression?  By breathing deeply you allow your body the time to loosen up and recover.  Additionally, by taking your time to provide your response you are peaking the other person’s interest and causing them to be more alert about the information you are about to share.

3^rd Step: Acknowledge, appreciate & move on: When you are ready to respond, please thank the person for the information and acknowledge that you will take his/her input into consideration.  This is the time to also ask any questions that might further clarify the information shared.  For instance, you could state, “I sincerely appreciate you taking the time to share this information with me.  I’ll process your input and determine how to best implement it.”

However, if you feel the information provided is not relevant, just thank the person and move on.  You might respond by saying something along the lines of, “I appreciate your input.  Thank you for sharing.” This is a very short, sweet, and respectful way of letting the other person know you are moving on.

Dale Breckenridge Carnegie, renowned American writer, lecturer, and developer of famous self-improvement courses, once said, “Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain – and most fools do.” Amen to that!  That’s why it’s important to keep in mind that you don’t need to act on everything people tell you.  However, you do need to be respectful and show gratitude when a colleague, friend, or family member provides his/her input… whether it’s requested or not!